You are what you eat. Voldemort is a unicorn.
- Me: Ugh, why isn't my pizza done yet?
- Mom: It's been in for three minutes. Just wait.
- Me: I DID MY WAITING!
- Mom: Oh, god, not again.
- Me: TWELVE YEARS OF IT!
- Mom: Every time.
- Me: IN AZKABAN!
Big fat credit to 'Thewlis Rox' @ davidthewlis.net.
Fan: Hey, do you mind if I go in first to get in the theater? I just love Harry Potter!
Fan: Hello? Well I know you’ve been here longer in line, but I read this book like months ago so I’ve been waiting longer than you probably. So I guess I’ll just-
Me: I’VE DONE MY WAITING.
Me: -TWELVE YEARS OF IT.
Fan: But it hasn’t even been ou-
Me: IN AZKABAN.
Harry Potter's fourth child was called "Dobby Hedwig" and his fifth was called "George's Ear."
My computer came down with a case of idiocy.