How to Meet Harry Potter!

I always thought Harry Potter would be well fed on toads and wizards brew (or whatever these wizard types eat) then blowing his nose with big wads of twenty pound notes, yet evidently not. Seeing as he's obviously getting a pittance for his hard career work as a brilliantly great actor, young Potter is opening up a Harry Potter Theme Park so he can feed not only himself but his massive collection of owls (so they can deliver his paychecks).

JK Rowling even chips in with "The plans I've seen look incredibly exciting, and I don't think fans of the books or films will be disappointed." As opposed to saying "It looks awful, I hate this whole rigmarole of pretending to like every single piece of Harry Potter merchandising crap that pops up every week. What about the Harry Potter Umbrella? Harry Potter bin bags anyone? Or the Pobjoy Mint's Harry Potter Isle of Man Coin? I just can't take it anymore!" Or thereabouts.

The Harry Potter series has now sold more than 325 million books and has been translated into at least 65 different languages. More people have read a Harry Potter book in Britain than have eaten chips. Fact.